Dead Stock Quotes

I’m preparing to post a longer excerpt soon, but here are some enticing tidbits from DEAD STOCK, the first Bert Shambles mystery upcoming from Cozy Cat Press. These should give you some insight into the book and especially the main character, who is not always the sharpest blade on the Thanksgivukkah turkey, if you get my meaning.

Just for fun I’ve also put the quotes in a Twitter-friendly format that are suitable for retweeting, if you’re into that sort of thing. Just click a link and you’ll be taken to Twitter. Then hit Update. Voila, and thanks!

The word around town was that old man Tortura had earned his money the old-fashioned way, by killing people. @timhallbooks

Scotty started playing a jazzy version of “Wonderful Tonight.” I gave him the finger behind my back. @timhallbooks

A hand like a bear paw gripped my arm. It felt like a nutcracker on a banana, and I don’t have to tell you who the banana was. @timhallbooks

I didn’t look like I just stepped out of Wimbledon, or wherever the big golf tournaments are held. @timhallbooks

The house looked like a group of Las Vegas showgirls had hijacked an armored car and crashed into Liberace’s grave. @timhallbooks

Why would anyone kill a 91-year old golfer just for his clothes? Maybe ugly vintage golf outfits were hipper than I realized. @timhallbooks

“What happened?” “You got whacked with a pool cue. Can you get up, hon?” “Depends. Which way is it?” @timhallbooks

She hugged me. “You take care of yourself, tiger. Call if you need me.” “I will, thanks. And I’m sorry for smelling your boobs.” @timhallbooks


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